Tom Wing: 20ish/M/Jerk. I'm one of those so-called pretentious snobs you read about. I am a moderate conservative with an ego the size of mars. I drink a grande white mocha like it's my job and I will gladly stab you in the back. If you have trouble with the articulation section of your brain, I will destroy you. I have a relationship with my car, it's beautiful. I am the internet's resident asshole. Don't push it.